Sunday, January 18, 2009


This morning’s mail brought a disturbing comment from a grammy in California. I am not sure I should publish the comment and I don’t know how to contact her personally, so I am going to try to comment here. She and her husband have had legal custody of three grandchildren from Virginia for five years. She lives in California. They are raising the children in their elder years without any financial assistance even though the children came through the social services system. I hope she will return to the blog and perhaps catch this post which may also be of help to other families.

Grammy, first I know it doesn’t mean much when you feel so frustrated, but I applaud you and your husband for the support and love you have given these young children. I think you need an ombudsman or some other advocate to help you. Please take a moment to write down what it is you specifically need. Then write down what the barrier is to getting this need. Then consider contacting the Grandparent Project in California at 800-222-1753 or e-mail your question through their website .

There is an agreement between all 50 states called the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) which may be a tool to get the two states involved to assist you. I know that money is a grave problem and you certainly don’t want to be spending a lot on attorney fees or cross country transportation. Please call the Grandparent Project, a legal resource specializing in issues like these. I hope you will send another comment to the Kincare Blog to let us know if this was helpful.
In the meantime our thoughts are with you on this big issue in your lives.


Anonymous said...

Hi Tita!

I saw your post on the Grammy from California (Jan 2009) and wasn't sure if either of you was aware of the Kinship Support Services Programs available in our state.

Here is a link to a list of all KSSP Providers:

Thank you for all the helpful information you have posted. Is their an email address we can write to you at?

JHENRY said...

Hi Tita:

It's grammyh. I tried the link that anonymous gave for the Kinship Support Services Programs in California but I can not get through to that link. It comes back "page cannot be found."

I have been going to our local kinship group as well as grandparents raising grandchildren long before we finally got custody of our 3 grandchildren. It is a great place to vent but all you get is your service worker agreeing with you, patting you on the back and telling you what a great job you are doing but they either can't or don't know how to help me with my problems.

It would be nice if California gave the Granparents raising grandchildren and other relatives the same help they give foster care families, like they do in other states.